Book List 2012

Yay! READING!!!

1.   French Milk  (Lucy Knisley)
2.   Me Talk Pretty One Day  (David Sedaris)
3.   Fahrenheit 451  (Ray Bradbury)
4.   Drum of Autumn  (Diana Galbadon)
5.   The School of Essential Ingredients (Erica Bauermeister)
6.   Emily and Einstein  (Linda Francis)
7.   The Fiery Cross  (Diana Galbadon)
8.   A Breath of Snow and Ashes  (Diana Galbadon)
9.   An Echo in the Bone  (Diana Galbadon)
10.  Started Early, Took My Dog  (Kate Atkinson)
11.  Cannery Row  (John Steinbeck)
12.  Fifty Shades of Grey  (E. L. James)
13.  Fifty Shades Darker  (E.L. James)
14.  Fifty Shades Freed  (E.L. James)
15.  A Million Miles in a Thousand Years  (Donald Miller)
16.  Sarah's Key  (Tatiana de Rosnay)
17.  Dead Reckoning  (Charlaine Harris)
18.  The Mortal Instruments - City of Bones  (Cassandra Clare)
19.  The Mortal Instruments - City of Glass  (Cassandra Clare)
20.  The Mortal Instruments - City of Ashes (Cassandra Clare)
21.  The Secret of Lies (Barbara Forte Abate)
22.  The Sign of the Four (Arthur Conan Doyle)
23.  Shiver (Maggie Stiefvater)
24.  The Luxe (Anna Godbersen)
25.  Rumors (Anna Godbersen)
26.  Envy  (Anna Godbersen)
27.  Splendor (Anna Godbersen) 

My year of culinary experimentation (A New Year's resolution I may actually fulfill)

In the past few years, I haven't even attempted to come up with a New Year's resolution. I have no motivation to designate a  resolution since  I never follow through. I think that's because the resolutions have been things I do not WANT to do, or something I THINK I should do, but I'm not that interested in actually completing. I mean, I get that it's supposed to be a challenge, but why do I always make the challenge so sucky? It doesn't make sense.

SO in an effort to motivate myself to do something I would actually be interested in doing, my New Year's resolution is to make the equivalent of at least one new recipe a week. This is an attempt to actually use some of the 82987 recipes I pin on Pinterest--and force myself to make recipes I may not normally make.

So far my resolution is going very well, and I've made far more than my one recipe a week target goal. I've also made many recipes I bet I wouldn't have made before, and I'm pretty pleased with myself.

Book List 2011

Instead of writing an actual blog, I'm just going to post my book list for 2011.  I know. CREATIVE. Whatever, I'm busy doing other things. Like reading, evidently. 

I'm feeling too lazy right now to write out actual impressions, so I'm just going to highlight in BLUE books I REALLY liked and I'm going to highlight in RED books I did not like, or which I thought were weird/tedious. I'd say that the rest of the books at the very least kept my interest, and by-and-large I enjoyed them.
 
1.    The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Milan Kundara)
2.    Brideshead Revisited (Evelyn Waugh)

3.    The Year of the Flood (Margaret Atwood)

4.    Oryx and Crake (Margaret Atwood)
5.    Shanghai Girls (Lisa See)
6.    The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (John Boyne)

7.    The Good Mother (Sue Miller):  Just couldn't deal.

8.    Blankets (Craig Thompson)
9.    The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

10.  The Thief of Time (John Boyne)

11.  Innocence (Kathleen Tessard)
12.  Runaway (Alice Munro)
13.  Dune (Frank Herbert)

14.  The Unit (Ninni Holmqvist)

15.  Saving CeeCee Honeycutt (Beth Hoffman)
16.  The Day the Falls Stood Still (Cathy Buchanin)
17.  Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
18.  The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (Carson McCullers)
19.  While I was Gone (Sue Miller)

20.  East of Eden (John Steinbeck)

21.  Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
22. The Girl Who Played with Fire (Stieg Larson) 
23.  The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest (Stieg Larson)
24.  Alice I Have Been (Melanie Benjamin)

25.  The Wasp Factory (Iain Banks): This was just too creepy. I feel uncomfortable just thinking about it.

26.  The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)

27.  Foreign Affair (Alison Laurie)

28.  Eating the Dinosaur (Chuck Klosterman): I just couldn't get into this book, and I usually really like Chuck Klosterman books. I think it's because this book focused on topics I didn't know/care about so I couldn't relate to the witty commentary.

29.  Killing Yourself to Live (Chuck Klosterman)

30.  Night (Elie Wiesel)

31.  The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)

32.  Catching Fire (Suzanne Collins)

33.  Mockingjay (Suzanne Collins)

34.  Dragon Prince (Melanie Rawn)
35.  The Star Scroll (Melanie Rawn)
36.  Sunrunner's Fire (Melanie Rawn)
37.  Heart and Soul (Maeve Binchy)

38.  The Adderall Diaries (Stephen Elliot)

39.  How to Bake a Perfect Life (Barbara O'Neal)
40.  Zeitoun (Dave Eggers)
41.  The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner (Stephanie Meyer)

42.  A Discovery of Witches (Debora Harkness)

43.  A Dance With Dragons (George R.R. Martin)
44.  Sula (Toni Morrison)
45.  Time of My Life: A Novel (Allison Winn Scotch)
46.  Freedom (Jonathan Franzen)
47.  The Corrections (Jonathan Franzen)
48.  Let's Take the Long Way Home (Gail Caldwell)
49.  My Name is Mary Sutter (Robin Oliveira)

50.  The Leftovers (Tom Perrotta): This book annoyed the shit out of me.

51.  Voyager  (Diana Galbaldon)
52.  Room (Emma Donoghue)

53.  When She Woke (Hillary Jordan)

54.  The Double Bind  (Chris Bohjalian)

55.  Inheritance (Christopher Pao)
56.  Zone One (Colson Whithead)

57.  The Blind Assassin (Margaret Atwood)

58.  Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (Mindy Kaling)

59.  Bossy Pants (Tina Fey)

60.  The Secret Garden  (Frances Hodgson Burnett)

Books I couldn't finish:

I have decided that I'm no longer going to MAKE myself finish a book that I'm not "in" to. Now, there's nothing necessarily wrong with these books, sometimes I just can't get invested. I used to force myself to read the ENTIRE book no matter what, but screw that. There are millions of awesome books in the world--why waste my time doing something I almost find painful.

• The Screwtape Letters (C.S. Lewis)
• The Scarlett Letter (Nathaniel Hawthorne)
• Louisa May Alcott: The Woman Behind (Harriet Reisen)
• Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
• The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
• The Noticer (Andy Andrews)
• Dating Da Vinci (Malena Lott)
• Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) *I got through 600 pages and just couldn't take any more.
• I'll Fly Away (Wally Lamb)
• Love in the Time of Dragons (Katie Macauste)
• The Russian Debutantes Handbook (Gary Shteyngart) *I wanted to like this book, but for some reason just couldn't get into it.
• World Without End (Ken Follett)

Hate...Zak...

So I haven't been blogging primarily because I really haven't been motivated. It's winter. I hibernate. Also, my creative outlets have been funneled into making felt creations and improperly constructed knitted scarves. Well. One scarf.

However, I do think it's worthwhile that I highlight what has come to be one of my greatest sources of entertainment and joy: Ghost Adventures.

Let me be clear, while I'm super interested in ghosts and spirits, if I actually encountered something paranormal I would probably shit myself. I mean, I actually resist the need to urinate in the middle of the night because I'm scared to get out of the safety of my bed. When nature's call forces me to get up, when I'm finished I actually run from the bathroom and leap into bed as quickly as possible. I leap because it seems likely something could possibly grab my ankles if I was to just step into the bed like a normal adult. True. Story.

Point being, I'm a huge pussy and I totally should not be watching this show because it only feeds into the pit of fear I feel in my stomach when I am forced to walk into a dark room unaccompanied. The other day I could hear the kitchen door to the basement inexplicably swinging back and forth, which I immediately attributed to a ghostly presence. Since Pat wasn't home I just made Selma hunker in bed with me because I wasn't going looking for trouble. My ridiculous reaction just reinforces that I'm clearly not mentally or emotionally stable enough to handle Ghost Adventures. Yet I have to watch it because it's just. that. awesome.

What I read in 2010

In the future, I'm going to try and write out the books as I read them, but whatever. Here's what I read in 2010. Clearly some of these were easy reads for mindless enjoyment (Charlaine Harris, wOOt), but I tried to challenge myself to read some novels I wouldn't normally have chosen (Hi, The Road? Plodding through that book was like torture.).

I made a note by the books I really liked, and some that I really didn't.

1. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood *This book kind of made me nervous that one day my choices would be taken away from me and I'd just be used for breeding purposes, but I liked it a lot, anyway.
2. The Help - Kathryn Stocket *I know some people didn't like/were offended by this book but I really enjoyed the story.
3. The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake - Aimee Bender *I was thrown off by the name, but ultimately this book had a really cool plot and I was engrossed from the very beginning.
4. The Magicians -  Lev Grossman *Very good.  I enjoyed that there were fantasy aspects incorporated into the book without completely dorking out. Think Harry Potter but actually for adults (there is cursing and sex-yay!)
5. Water For Elephants - Sara Gruen *I initially refused to read this book because I thought it was a non-fiction tale about elephants in the circus circa 1904. I couldn't believe so many people were into a book about that. I have no idea why I thought that, because CLEARLY the plot isn't about that at all. It is very good.
6. Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert *I also refused to read this book for awhile because I thought it was a touchy-feel-y self-help book--it isn't. Aside from the fact I think Elizabeth Gilbert is clearly plagued by first world problems, I really enjoyed this book--particularly reading about her time in Italy (I was hungry for the first 1/3 of the book) and Indonesia.
7. The Thorn Birds - Colleen McCullough *Classic! So much tragedy.
8. American Wife - Curtis Sittenfield
9. Naturally Thin - Bethenney Frankel *I highly recommend this for people who would like to develop and maintain a more stable, healthy attitude toward their diet.
10. 1984 - George Orwell *I found this kind of difficult to get through because it's clearly not a book I'd normally read, but I was glad I made myself do it.
11. The All-True Travels and Adventures of Lidie Newton - Jane Smiley *I did like this book, but I guess I felt like something was missing...I was never drawn into the story. I just read it and thought, "Well. That was nice."
12. Kitchen Confidential - Anthony Bourdain *As much as I like Anthony Bourdain, I found it difficult to get through this book. I was interested...but just not that interested. Apparently.
13. We Were the Mulvaneys - Joyce Carol Oates *Okay, I really did like this book but DISCLAIMER: THIS BOOK IS RIDICULOUSLY DEPRESSING.
14. The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters - Elisabeth Robinson *So sweet, really funny, but also sad.
15. The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing - Melissa Bank
16. A Confederate Yankee in King Arthur's Court - Mark Twain *Great read. I really had to concentrate to not skim over the archaic language, though.
17. The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffengger *eh
18. The Story of Edgar Sawtelle - David Wroblenski *Good, but gawd, so depressing
19. His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife & The Ember Spyglass - Philip Pullman *Really good. Much better than the movie. May be offensive if you are Catholic.
20. Game of Thrones - George R. R. Martin *The George R. R. Martin books are really awesome fantasy books. Very long, but once you start reading them it's hard to stop. HBO is going to have a series based on the first book beginning early winter. Highly recommend even if you wouldn't normally read a book like this.
21. A Clash of Kings - George R. R. Martin
22. A Storm of Swords - George R. R. Martin
23. A Feast for Crows - George R. R. Martin
24. Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs - Chuck Klosterman *Hilar
25. The Host - Stephanie Meyer *Since she wrote Twilight, I was really surprised to be impressed by the concept of this book. It was really interesting and I have to say that I couldn't put the book down. I'd definitely recommend it.
26. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society - Mary Ann Shaffer *My mom gave me this and I thought it'd be stupid because of the name, but it wasn't. Takes place after WWII. On one hand it's very sweet, but since pertains to war is also sad.
27. The Man of My Dreams - Curtis Sittenfield *Just okay
28. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
29. Superfreakanomics - Steven Levitt *I liked this much better than Freakanomics, but I'm not sure why
30. The Wild Things - Dave Eggers
31. The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery  *I found this difficult to get through. So. French.
32. Suite Francaise - Irene Nemirovsky *Very good. Didn't leave me with a very good feeling about the French, though. 
33. The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown
34. The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder - Rebecca Wells *This book was super sweet, but also made me sob. Like most of her books it takes place down south and the characters are lovably eccentric in way that is only acceptable if the person hails from below the Mason-Dixon line.
35. Otherwise Engaged - Suzanne Finnamore *I find this book hilarious, though I may be the only one. I read it at least once a year.
36. The Hour I First Believed - Wally Lamb *I don't even remember reading this book (which doesn't bode well). I looked it up to remind myself and holy. shit. This book is damn depressing.
37. Julie and Julia - Julie Powell *I liked this book, but I didn't particularly appreciate her constant disparaging remarks about Republicans. It was like, God, get over it Julie Powell. Just tell me about your experience making beef bourguignon. 
38. Official Book Club Selection - Kathy Griffin *I love Kathy, but I expected a little bit more. It started slow, but I got into it eventually. It's not all hilarity and penis jokes--there is some serious aspects to the book as well.
39. Your Better Not Cry - Stories For Christmas - Augusten Burroughs
40. Fall On Your Knees - Anne-Marie Macdonald
41. Lottery - Patricia Wood *Uplifting, but I wasn't a huge fan.
42. The Pillars of the Earth - Ken Follett
43. Witch and Wizard - James Patterson
44. Bite Me: A Love Story - Christopher Moore
45. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson
46. The Dexter Series (All) - Jeff Lindsay *If you like Dexter, you'll like the books. They loosely follow the series plotline, but becomes increasingly different the further  you get into the book series.
47. Percy Jackson and the Olympians 1 - 6 - Rick Riordan *I read these because my friend lent them to us and while I'll say they were fun to read, they are clearly written for tweens. No Harry Potter situation where you feel like it's social acceptable to be reading a "children's book"--these were actually children's books.
48. Harper Connelly Novel: Grave Surprise - Charlaine Harris *I liked this series until the last one or two books because I was unable to reconcile a plot twist that I found kind of grody.
49. Harper Connelly Novel: A Nice Cold Grave - Charlaine Harris
50. Harper Connelly Novel: Grave Sight - Charlaine Harris
51. Harper Connelly Novel: Grave Secret - Charlaine Harris
52. Sookie Stackhouse Novel: Dead In The Family - Charlaine Harris
53. Shakespeares Landlord - Charlaine Harris
54. The Almost Moon - Alice Sebold *I did not like this book. I thought it was inherently creepy and just could not get over it.
55. Nanny Returns - Emma McLaughlin
56. The Virgin's Lover - Philippa Gregory *I clearly like me some Philippa Gregory--Hi, books about ye olde England? Sign me up. But I can't say I was a huge fan of any of these books, save The Boleyn Inheritance.
57. The Favored Child - Philippa Gregory
58. Fallen Skies - Philippa Gregory
59. The Boleyn Inheritance - Philippa Gregory
60. The White Queen - Philippa Gregory
61. Wideacre - Philippa Gregory (This book is super disturbing on many different levels)
62. The Road - Cormac McCarthy (I effing hated this book)

Way to go kid

Now, I don't have a kid, so I may be off base on this. However, I think it's hilarious when proud parents on Facebook applaud their child's "graduation" from preschool or, like, second grade.

Now, I do "get" it. They are your offspring. You love them and applaud every milestone. Also, they are kids. Unless they are prodigies, all they really have going for them is school-related progress until they join a sport or discover a hobby of some type. So you support them in the one arena where "success" is actually measured (kind of).

However: It's preschool. Is this even a real accomplishment? Do you even get GRADED in preschool? I thought you just played, took naps and ate those depressing generic vanilla sandwich cookies that I've only been given at school, day care or church functions.

Who knows, maybe preschool is challenging. Like most things, I guess I should assume that any fun associated with preschool has been sucked out over time (Like basically everything awesome that I got to do, but now kids can't because it's dangerous. Ha ha, you're younger, but we had more fun and I managed to escape childhood without losing an eye, a limb or my life!).

But really? It's kindergarten. Unless they had an acknowledged learning disorder, if my kid didn't pass kindergarten/preschool I'd be fucking PISSED. It's one thing to hype you child's graduation from high school or college, but elementary school? Really?

Frankly, this may be why kids are so goddamn spoiled and think everything they do is awesome. Because they are being told they are awesome even when they aren't being awesome, but instead just meeting what should really be the status quo.

I don't think my parents ever congratulated ME on advancing to the next grade. Why? Because I goddamn better have. It's elementary school, not medical school.

Anyway, angry parents don't shake your fist at me in anger. I'm sure when I have a kid I'll be all "yay, my kid excelled...or did exactly what they were supposed to do, but whatever! Yay!!" Until that time, though, I reserve the right to be amused.

Enough with the almonds

Dear healthy living Web sites/blogs/magazines,

Stop telling me to eat almonds as a healthful snack alternative. I don't care what you say, that shit doesn't make me feel full. It just doesn't. I don't care how awesomely healthful they are, I'm sick of almonds. Find a new wonder food.